That one time I saw Larry and everyone told me it wasn’t him.

One Thursday night, during event week in 2013, I was riding in an art car, heading back towards the city from a Gate event by the trash fence. The vehicle was full of Gateys and Rangers. It was only mildly dusty out and the sky was close to pitch black in deep playa. I was either on top of the car or by a window, because I remember just looking out, into the night, taking in the art we were passing and, eventually, the edges of the city. Slowly, alongside us came a convertible limo, black and dusty. It was the equivalent of about 2 lanes away. There were people laughing and toasting in the back. In the front, next to the driver, stood a man in a cowboy hat, leaning on the windshield, looking out into the night. He was taking it all in but something about his stance made me keep watching him. He looked proud. He looked like a man basking in the wonders that so many people helped create. He was thin and not wearing a stetson, at least not The Hat. Eventually, I was like, “Guys? I know this is going to sound ridiculous, but, is that Larry Harvey?” People glaced but everyone said nope, too skinny, nope, not the right hat. Nope, he’s probably in Reno. The next year I was invited to the Global Leadership Conference and I ended up standing in a hallway and Larry passed right by me, on his way to the stage where he spoke, quietly, very very quietly, about that year’s theme. I should have said something but that’s also not my jam. He looked like a man pestered by niceness and the need for selfies. I never like adding to anyone’s social pressures. I knew a couple of things in those moments though. First, that 100% had been Larry in the limo. A hat does not define a humyn.  Larry’s weight loss had not been publicly documented, the images many burners were familiar with were not current. His body language that night was so specifically unique-how many people look upon burning man with at least an inkling of “I pushed the first rock or two that became a cultural avalanche”. Not many, possibly only a founder or a really long time, heavily involved burner. And there was something in his stance that said just that. He looked the way I imagine he looked as a child, according to This Is Burning Man, high in a tree, extending his arms up and out to the world, imagining his arms reaching around the planet, imagining other people, far away, also searching, also lonely, also reaching back towards him. He had this look on his face that said “It is happening, the arms are reaching back. Aren’t they chaotically beautiful. And here we are.” The second thing I knew in those moments at the GLC, is that, regardless of popular opinion, Larry did not seem like someone who wanted the spotlight. He did some things he believed in, his ego was not at the center of his choices-Like many of us, he was just another introverted person who ended up as a leader, or founder, or visionary, because ideas compelled him and because others were not doing what he saw needed to be done. His speech was quiet because he was not a loud person but also, for some reason, the sound was good for every other speaker at the GLC, but not him. No One could hear Larry. But I don’t remember him asking for the mic to be turned up. He finished his talk before the sound could be fixed. His ego was not what was driving him in those moments. The art, philosophy and the great social experiment that is Burning Man were driving him. May our own concepts of art, philosophy and Burning Man continue to drive us. Larry’s heart reached out to millions of people, it is SO sad, but also okay that his heart was tired. Much Love to his family and loved ones <3 Know that SO many people will carry Larry in their thoughts and hearts as we keep the burn in our hearts or return to the dust or return home to our own Regional events. Remember in 2011, when the Man was on the move, walking forward, no matter what angle you saw him from? Larry is on the move. And we will miss him. And that is ok.